You’ve heard of the cookie monster, right? That big blue furry being on Sesame Street that’s obsessed with cookies? Yea, well I think he’s a metaphor for what happens to people when sugar and chocolate get into your bloodstream.
It starts with that first bite. The world turns into slow motion as the explosion of sweetness bursts onto your taste buds. You think to yourself, this is it. I can die happily. Except that feeling lasts for like 0.0248 milliseconds and is replaced with fervor to eat everything sugary in sight. Maybe your right eye twitches a little bit. Maybe you get tunnel vision and that dessert is all you can see. People may be trying to have a conversation with you, but your eyes have already glazed over. You’re not actually listening. It’s too late. A little voice in your head says, “Run while you can!” But you ignore the voice like it’s your mother telling you to clean your room. Fast forward to a few hours later, when your stomach is telling you NOT to run, or do anything for that matter except lay down curl up in a little ball until your food digests.
Then there are those people who actually have self-control, and listen to the little voice in their head that says everything is good in moderation. This recipe is for you guys. Yes this recipe is much better for you. It has less sugar in it than most granola you buy at the grocery store. It even has more protein in it. But even though the ingredients are much healthier, you still want to eat it in moderation because of the nutrient dense (and calorie dense) ingredients. Which is why when I made it I gave it away to my roommate who can do good food in moderation. After I had already eaten half of it of course.
This recipe is absolutely delicious! You can eat it by itself, with milk, with yogurt, or whatever else your heart desires. But maybe you should avoid eating it at night if caffeine affects your sleep schedule. Otherwise you’ll spend all last night staring at the ceiling fan like me.
- 3 cups old-fashioned oatmeal
- ½ cup chopped almonds
- ¼ cup sunflower kernels
- 2 Tb ground coffee
- ¼ cup coconut oil
- 2 scoops chocolate protein powder
- ¼ cup honey
- ¼ cup cocoa powder, unsweetened
- 1/8 tsp salt
- ¾ cup chocolate covered espresso beans or chocolate chips
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Spread parchment paper over a jellyroll pan.
- Mix together the oats, almonds, sunflower kernels, and ground coffee. Set aside.
- In a small saucepan, heat up coconut oil, honey, protein powder, and cocoa powder. Once it’s mixed together, pour it over the oat mixture and stir it so the mixture is evenly coated. Mix in the salt.
- Spread out the mixture in the pan and bake for 15 minutes. Take it out and stir, making sure the oats aren’t burning. Bake for another 10 minutes.
- Pour chocolate covered espresso beans over top of the oats while they are warm. Stir it up so the chocolate melts and makes clumps. Pour the granola into an airtight container and place it in the fridge for about 20 minutes till the chocolate sets. Afterwards, you can store it at room temperature for up to 3 weeks.